This summer I have been content to lead a provincial life, knowing that adventure lies on my horizon. I ride my bike one mile to work almost every day, and the only people I see with real consistency are my family and my coworkers. I guess my little life is clearly evidenced in the fact that my two current crushes are the guy who works at the local liquor store and the "middle-aged" (late 30's? mid 40's? the family is not agreed) checker at the grocery store. As Uncle Jeff so sagely points out, he gets benefits!
Thankfully, to this mundanity came Alisha and Phil to the rescue! They promptly whisked me off to the big city, where my eyes were opened to the wonders of a cosmopolitan lifestyle. First, we visited Berkeley, a trendy urban campus full of forward-thinking hipsters, and tree-sitters. Then we went to Union Square, to traipse around in Neiman Marcus ogling the gowns and shoes and pretending that we belonged there. As I was half-heartedly perusing the scents (since I don't have one, and feel I should if I'm going to be hanging out in France), I somehow got caught by a pretty young woman who informed me that Chanel was giving free makeovers that day and that someone was here from France for the occasion. After making sure there was room for Alisha too, I was on board. It was an exercise in humility. The Chanel woman helping me and the products she rubbed onto my face made me feel simultaneously glamorous and hideous. I was better off than Alisha though, who got a lecture from the Frenchman about skincare. He told her he'd have to start at the beginning. "This...this is makeup" he informed her. She was finished before me, and decided she would buy the bronzer. Unfortunately, her money was no good there. Neiman Marcus only takes American Express, the Neiman Marcus credit card, or cash. No lowly Visa or Mastercard for them. I guess it's not everywhere we want to be...
Looking fierce, we headed to H&M and each bought a shirt to wear out for the evening. We headed to the Castro district, which took three times as long as it should have thanks to poor city planning and our lack of a map. Phil called his friend who was from San Francisco but who was in Corvallis at the time, and with her help, we were able to get on the right street (who needs an iPhone when you've got friends?). We parked on a side street and got dressed in the car. We went to a Thai restaurant called Nirvana for dinner, where we spent entirely too much money on delicious cocktails. We traipsed around for awhile, before Phil called Jerred to get the address to a club he'd heard of, Badlands. After making our way past the hermaphrodite dancing around in a little bathing suit on the corner, we found the club, and gratefully stumble inside, only to run into...the Frenchman who did our makeup at Neiman Marcus!!! Uncle Jeff was astounded that in such a large city we would run into the same person twice, but actually, when you do the math (vivacious international make-up artist + notorious gay bar), it's a no-brainer. It was awesome, and he and I are facebook friends now! A Chanel makeup artist is always a good person to have in your coterie, for partying in Paris or at the very least, free samples!
It was a great day...I always have a great time in San Francisco. I'll have to keep that in mind when I'm looking to "settle down somewhere," if I ever get that urge (haven't yet)! Until then, I'll keep busy by flirting with grocery store checkers (last night we discussed the alcohol content of rum...Sailor Jerry's at 46% is the more economical choice than Captain Morgan's, at 35% alcohol...I think he was impressed) and befriending international badasses. And rocking out at karaoke bars with Aunt Robin. Definitely one of the raddest times I've ever had, and hopefully an encore will be in order next week!
Showing posts with label San Francisco. Show all posts
Showing posts with label San Francisco. Show all posts
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Tuesdays with Madeleine
Heckled by the French
Today I drove up beautiful highway 1 to San Francisco, where I had a quite fabulous day with my little cousin Madeleine. First we waited around in the French consulate for a couple hours where I got my (free!) visa for France, but only after getting heckled by a French woman. Apparently the last time I went to France I stayed 2 months longer than I was supposed to, and SHOULD have applied for residency, but didn't...hence I had been illegal! I better not be pulling that shit again. ...She said to me dryly. As she handed my passport over. We've all got to get our jollies somehow, I guess.
An Object Lesson: Wine Glass Half-Full, or Half-Empty?
Then Madeleine and I bumbled our way through the city to Fisherman's Wharf, where we had a delectable lunch on the 3rd floor of some building, where we paid twice as much for the same food that was being served down on the street. BUT, we had a view of the Golden Gate bridge, and a tablecloth! When my glass of house Pinot Noir came, Madeleine was shocked that it was half empty. Upon which I had to explain that the way Aunt Robin and I do things at the house (i.e. fill wine glasses to the brim) is not exactly "the norm" or "proper etiquette" everywhere. Later, Aunt Robin pointed out that the a full wine glass is A. perfectly normal for home-drinking and B. completely depends on which restaurant you go to (Upper Crust, the local pizza joint, fills the glass)! Touche, Aunt Robin, touche.
The End is the Beginning
After buying a loaf of sourdough bread in the shape of a turtle, Madeleine and I headed to the next item on our list: shopping! Of course this meant that we set out in the general direction of Union Square, which consisted of me navigating up and down ridiculous hills, Madeleine attempting to read the map, and one near-death experience (only one?!? I'd say we did pretty damn good). In our frazzled search for parking, we ended up parking a block and a half away from Union Square in...the very same parking structure we had parked in this morning, directly across from the French consulate. Wow. All in all, we spent $28 on parking today. Whatevs, I got a free visa, and 3 Mormons going to France had to pay $465 for theirs all told, so HA!
God-damned Christians!
A very frazzled and upset me headed to Union Square, hoping to find H&M and DSW (shoes!). Instead, I heard some live music. 'Oh that's nice!' I thought. But no, some youth group from Southern California on their mission trip performing some High School Musical-esque song-and-dance numbers talking about how great Jesus is. I'm sure the only people who were enjoying it were already Christians, hence already saved, and I'm also betting they were shopping and ignoring homeless people just like me when they weren't deluding themselves into thinking that their little performances were doing God's will. Some people build houses on their missions, some people sing and dance. Work it out. They didn't make my day better, so HA!
Thanks, Cheesecake Factory Lady!
Macy's was overpriced, and the kindly concierge of the Cheesecake Factory pointed us in the direction we needed to go. On the way, I found a FABULOUS jewelry store, 10 times more fabulous, in fact, than the silver store where I'm currently employed (and, consequently, 10 times more expensive). There's this one necklace I may decide is necessary for my life to go on...we'll see... H&M was everything I remember it to be (I bought a maroon vest and a black jacket, woot!) and DSW was a pretty great shoe store (Madeleine bought some sweet little Rocketdogs). Then we fueled up at Starbucks and hit the road, which consisted of a couple rainbows and a rad sunset. So all in all, a win-win-win-win-win kind of day.
Today I drove up beautiful highway 1 to San Francisco, where I had a quite fabulous day with my little cousin Madeleine. First we waited around in the French consulate for a couple hours where I got my (free!) visa for France, but only after getting heckled by a French woman. Apparently the last time I went to France I stayed 2 months longer than I was supposed to, and SHOULD have applied for residency, but didn't...hence I had been illegal! I better not be pulling that shit again. ...She said to me dryly. As she handed my passport over. We've all got to get our jollies somehow, I guess.
An Object Lesson: Wine Glass Half-Full, or Half-Empty?
Then Madeleine and I bumbled our way through the city to Fisherman's Wharf, where we had a delectable lunch on the 3rd floor of some building, where we paid twice as much for the same food that was being served down on the street. BUT, we had a view of the Golden Gate bridge, and a tablecloth! When my glass of house Pinot Noir came, Madeleine was shocked that it was half empty. Upon which I had to explain that the way Aunt Robin and I do things at the house (i.e. fill wine glasses to the brim) is not exactly "the norm" or "proper etiquette" everywhere. Later, Aunt Robin pointed out that the a full wine glass is A. perfectly normal for home-drinking and B. completely depends on which restaurant you go to (Upper Crust, the local pizza joint, fills the glass)! Touche, Aunt Robin, touche.
The End is the Beginning
After buying a loaf of sourdough bread in the shape of a turtle, Madeleine and I headed to the next item on our list: shopping! Of course this meant that we set out in the general direction of Union Square, which consisted of me navigating up and down ridiculous hills, Madeleine attempting to read the map, and one near-death experience (only one?!? I'd say we did pretty damn good). In our frazzled search for parking, we ended up parking a block and a half away from Union Square in...the very same parking structure we had parked in this morning, directly across from the French consulate. Wow. All in all, we spent $28 on parking today. Whatevs, I got a free visa, and 3 Mormons going to France had to pay $465 for theirs all told, so HA!
God-damned Christians!
A very frazzled and upset me headed to Union Square, hoping to find H&M and DSW (shoes!). Instead, I heard some live music. 'Oh that's nice!' I thought. But no, some youth group from Southern California on their mission trip performing some High School Musical-esque song-and-dance numbers talking about how great Jesus is. I'm sure the only people who were enjoying it were already Christians, hence already saved, and I'm also betting they were shopping and ignoring homeless people just like me when they weren't deluding themselves into thinking that their little performances were doing God's will. Some people build houses on their missions, some people sing and dance. Work it out. They didn't make my day better, so HA!
Thanks, Cheesecake Factory Lady!
Macy's was overpriced, and the kindly concierge of the Cheesecake Factory pointed us in the direction we needed to go. On the way, I found a FABULOUS jewelry store, 10 times more fabulous, in fact, than the silver store where I'm currently employed (and, consequently, 10 times more expensive). There's this one necklace I may decide is necessary for my life to go on...we'll see... H&M was everything I remember it to be (I bought a maroon vest and a black jacket, woot!) and DSW was a pretty great shoe store (Madeleine bought some sweet little Rocketdogs). Then we fueled up at Starbucks and hit the road, which consisted of a couple rainbows and a rad sunset. So all in all, a win-win-win-win-win kind of day.
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