Waiting...and waiting...and waiting...

Being forced to slow down in southern France has got me thinking about a lot of things lately, most notably life and what I want it to be. I think up to this point much of my life has been waiting. Waiting to graduate from something. Waiting to hear about a scholarship application, or an application to something (college, study abroad, this assistantship program, Fulbright, etc.), or to figure out what the next step will be. Waiting for the weekend, waiting for the summer, waiting for the next adventure, waiting to see if he really likes you, or not. Waiting to collect enough accolades and qualifications to apply for the next dream job. Waiting waiting waiting. Next next next. But if you're waiting, you're not living. That's one thing France is teaching me. All I've got is right now. Tomorrow might not happen, I might die, so why spend the whole time waiting? Living is the thing to do. It's not about where we're going, it's about where we are. What does it mean to live life to the fullest? Trying not to worry, refusing to be distracted, refusing to dwell, being present. Loving. What is that? Daring to feel? It's time to make things happen for myself, to think about the future but not obsess about it, and to not be in a hurry everywhere I go, but soak up the sun and enjoy what I can see. Youth. Beauty. Freedom. Love. Don't overthink. Don't worry too much about what you accomplish and what you don't. What is a great resume, if it wasn't lived well and loved along the way? When you die, you're dead. That's it, it's over, and what's going to have mattered the most? That you killed yourself to appear successful and amazing, or that you filled your life with contentment, every day along the way? These are the present musings...