Transitions are always hard, but they're a necessary part of my life right now. I'm a nomad; movement is my way of life. Endings are sad but new beginnings are terrifyingly exciting: there's no other rush like knowing that in a few days you're moving to a new place, with no idea about where you'll be laying your head but a foolish faith that it'll all work out the way it's supposed to, and that in a few months or weeks it'll all be settled and you'll look back and laugh. I try not to worry and stress too much about things I have no control over, but that's easier said than done (don't think about the pink elephant in the room).
A few nights ago I went to my 10 year high school reunion. It went exactly as expected: I saw people I had given nary a thought to for a decade, I didn't see people I'd wished would have been there, I felt good about my life path and choices, and grateful for my blessings: my life and my health. Disappointed there weren't any fist fights or dancing.
Before that I was in Reno for a few days. It was nice to see Lyndsey Bunn, an old friend who is living exactly the fierce life I would have expected. We picked up as if it hadn't been five or so years since we'd last seen each other. My brother, dad and I hung out all together for the first time in ages as well. Family is who you're from, family is what it is. I'm realizing that I can't have expectations, and when I don't, great things can happen. We had a supreme time hanging out, eating a buffet, swimming in Lake Tahoe, and watching the History channel. Who knows when that'll happen again?
I'm glad to be 'home' in Portland for a spell, though it's not really where I live, so can I really call it home? My mom's PO box (what I use as my 'permanent' address for school and forms and stuff) is now in Washington, and I just lived in California for 2 months and in 8 days I'm moving to DC for school. Can't I just be a resident of where my heart is? Then let's just say I'm a resident of the west coast.
This sojourn in Portland is/will be perfect: seeing old friends, the good people in my life who renew my faith in humanity, the world and myself. Touching and hugging people for the last time in awhile. Getting errands done (this morning has been incredibly productive: sorted out bank account stuff, made plans for the rest of the week, applied for an internship), and doing enough for myself and my future to calm my nerves and try to just relax and have fun.
Thank you thank you milles fois merci to all the fabulous people in my life whom I can't begin to adequately show my appreciation.
A few nights ago I went to my 10 year high school reunion. It went exactly as expected: I saw people I had given nary a thought to for a decade, I didn't see people I'd wished would have been there, I felt good about my life path and choices, and grateful for my blessings: my life and my health. Disappointed there weren't any fist fights or dancing.
Before that I was in Reno for a few days. It was nice to see Lyndsey Bunn, an old friend who is living exactly the fierce life I would have expected. We picked up as if it hadn't been five or so years since we'd last seen each other. My brother, dad and I hung out all together for the first time in ages as well. Family is who you're from, family is what it is. I'm realizing that I can't have expectations, and when I don't, great things can happen. We had a supreme time hanging out, eating a buffet, swimming in Lake Tahoe, and watching the History channel. Who knows when that'll happen again?
I'm glad to be 'home' in Portland for a spell, though it's not really where I live, so can I really call it home? My mom's PO box (what I use as my 'permanent' address for school and forms and stuff) is now in Washington, and I just lived in California for 2 months and in 8 days I'm moving to DC for school. Can't I just be a resident of where my heart is? Then let's just say I'm a resident of the west coast.
This sojourn in Portland is/will be perfect: seeing old friends, the good people in my life who renew my faith in humanity, the world and myself. Touching and hugging people for the last time in awhile. Getting errands done (this morning has been incredibly productive: sorted out bank account stuff, made plans for the rest of the week, applied for an internship), and doing enough for myself and my future to calm my nerves and try to just relax and have fun.
Thank you thank you milles fois merci to all the fabulous people in my life whom I can't begin to adequately show my appreciation.
